Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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