Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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