My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
