so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize