girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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