youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
