he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
