what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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