I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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