we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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