I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
