And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
