careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
