So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
