I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
