It's Friday. Sex?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
