I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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