i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
