capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
