omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
