Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
