I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
