They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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