Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
someone owes me an orgasm
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
