the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
