Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
