My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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