I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
