great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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