i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
