Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
