Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just blew my weed a kiss
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
