My friends, they love my intelligence
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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