Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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