'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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