If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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