I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize