just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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