belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
