Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
