awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize