It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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