Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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