is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I love you. Go after that dick
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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