I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize