it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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