i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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