I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
