Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
