Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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