absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
