my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
