So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
did you just send me my own nude
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
