She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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