I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
