i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize