If i come over, it means nothing
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
