I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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