Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Terrible idea I love it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
