today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
