Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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