I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
