so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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