I wish I only lived at night.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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