I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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