I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
