put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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